Day 1 of 21 days - To be a constant friend & companion

So, yesterday (Day 1) was "To be a constant friend & companion"....she talked about back in the beginning...when the two of you always wanted to be together, laugh together, and do things to impress & value one another. All the negatives you didn't notice or pay no mind to, all the annoying little things were things that caught your attention and all his interests you didn't necessarily have interest in didn't matter b/c all you wanted to do was spend time together. Yeah...that "stuff". The stuff that, now (5 1/2 years later) I (and we) sometimes take for granted. During the beginning stages you are always interested in your spouse, wanting to get to know them, and really (I mean REALLY) paying attention to what their likes and dislikes were, what their goals and dreams were and admiring them for BOTH their similarities to you AND their differences. But fast track to right now in your relationship and most of us can say that even though we have made it 5, 10, 15, or even 50 years we tend to forget. Forget to REALLY pay attention to our significant other.

I know in our marriage, between the chaos of our children, financial burdens, lack of stability in a home, and past issues, it gets so hard to remember to stop and rewind. Laugh together, appreciate the differences you have and learn to express interest and love what your spouse wants, and enjoys, and is passionate about.

Now, I am not saying we all have time to take that weekly night and decompress with our spouse without the kids, without the financial issues or without stress in general, but what I am saying is remember to take those "time outs". Think back to when you both FELL in love with each other and try to incorporate those simple small things that you did back then that made you appreciate your love in the beginning instead of focusing on all the other "stuff."

One thing that Josh and I have always done, from the very GET-CO, was spend time with friends. We both enjoyed being social and laughing together. Josh used to play in a band, he was a trumpet player for " The Bobby Fleet Band". It was something he LOVED doing and that he was passionate about, and you know what...I LOVED that he was so passionate about something, and I embraced that and in turn, going to gigs became something I loved doing, together. He played, and we both got to enjoy time with friends, both old and new, and it created a bond. Although he is no longer in the band, I can still take away something so important from those days...our friendships. We shared the same friends and loved spending time with them, together.

So, what was the challenge? To carve out time in your day to enjoy moments of friendship. Now I'm not saying we went out to hear a band, we are no where near that place in our lives anymore, haha. But, we still share the same laughs and friendships. So, we got together with some of our closest friends and ordered chinese, ate desert and just talked and laughed until 11pm! And, we try to do it as often as we can, and the kids were home and yet we still had a good time. When we get around other people we love and enjoy Josh relaxes so much and his "jokester" side comes it, and although some of his jokes may not be funny to me, it doesn't really matter because I am just happy to see him happy and to laugh again, and in turn it makes me laugh too. You don't always need to remove or take away the stressful things in your life to enjoy each other and just be friends. Believe me, if I could just make all our stresses go away with a blink of an eye, I'd be the genie from nick @ night! LOL. But I can't and you can't, nobody can. Those are the types of things that keep us young in our relationships. The little things....

 

You know, back when me and Josh first started dating he used to be such a cornball, and I loved it. One night it was snowing, and I was driving home from his house and as I pulled away from his house I noticed he wrote "I love you" on my windshield. I know ladies, "aawww", right? Some of you guys might think, "seriously!?" Well yes, I am serious. And how did he ask me to be his girlfriend? He wrote it in the snow...and all these cute small and corny things melted my heart. And even though we don't have time as much as we used to for those things...he is still trying and remembering. During that huge snowstorm we had a few weeks ago, he carved out a heart in the compacted snow so on valentines day morning it was right there next to the car. And even though my expression may not have been the same as it was 5 years ago when he ask me out in the snow, it still melted me heart :).

So, the book's challenge was to take time to enjoy moments of friendship, and my challenge to you is to just embrace the small things and don't get consumed with what YOU would have done or what YOU think your spouse should have done.  I tend to get caught up in that, a lot. And even if your spouse doesn't always reciprocate, still do it. I promise with friendship and selflessness at the forefront...your love will either continue to grow, get deeper, remind you of the good times, or at the very least, get you back on track to bettering your relationship and each other.

Go out and hang with friends, or stay in and listen and dance to your favorite song you first shared, read the bible together or sit and watch a movie that made you laugh your socks off together. My in-laws have a sign up in their home that reads "Being happily married is being married to your best friend." I never truely understood what that meant until today. So keep that in mind the next time you would rather call your mom to talk instead of your husband, or run off to have beers with the boys instead of facing your emotions and fears with your wife. It WILL help...God said it, so I believe and have faith in it.

At the beginning, you are open, and trusting and forgiving, for love. Years later you forget what that was all about. Why you did it and maybe even how you did it. But the more you forget, the less you continue to do it. And as you do it less and less, that spark, that close friendship you both once had when you fell in love begins to break. So do me a favor and go mend it, or make it stronger...it can only better your relationship and the love you have for one another.

Proverbs 17:9
"Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends."

Till next time bloggers, and god bless.