Day 11- To listen the best what I know how

You know what I figured out during this day? I am not that great at listening when I am angry. Now, I'm not saying I didn't have a right to be mad, because I did. I know it and he knows it. But that is not what this is about, being right I mean. 

I could go on and on about how he failed this challenge with a huge 'F' posted on his forehead, but this wasn't his challenge. It was mine. 

I felt like I was doing well, listening to what was going on and what he wanted, until I felt like he was sacrificing our time together. 

What do you do when you are caught between two different values God has for your love life? Mutually submit to one another, he says, make time for one another, he says, and consider others priorities as you would your own, he says. It is a 100% effort on both spouses parts, he says. But what do you do when one spouse notices the other is NOT giving as much effort as the other. This is tough, something I am still trying to understand. 

Yesterday I felt defeated and hurt. So I did the only thing I could think of, and that was to go to God in prayer. I felt I had listened to as much as I could until I knew he wasn't listening in return. 

But then there is the other aspect of all this, to watch what you say as you can't take it back later, and that love is not resentful or self-seeking, it is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrongs. 

How do you know when to seek one over the other? Well, to be honest, I don't think you do. You just need to go to prayer and hope God will help. The flesh is a hard thing to deal with and we are all human, but being recently saved I feel I hold a higher duty to God and my family to work my humanly issues out that much more. 

I have a right to be angry. That I understand. But I don't have a right to shut my husband out or resent him when I am. Listening takes a lot of work. I mean REALLY listening, not just with one ear, or concentrating on one thing while the person talks to you about something else. I felt, last night, that God answered my prayers and tried to make Josh understand his wrong doings, but did I accept it there and move forward, no. I stayed upset. And although I am no longer angry, I am still disappointed and hurt. I will continue to listen, the best I know how. I won't give up, and I will continue to try and be the best wife I know how to be. But it works both ways my love. MUTUALLY submit, 100% on both ends.

So, today was a bust, to say the least. Neither one of us held up to our husbandly and wifely duties as God wants us to do. But not every day is going to be good. We have to learn to deal with the bad days just as we love living the good ones. No one is perfect and God understands this. We sinned and went against him and his love, and yet, he still died for us. He still loves us. Just as I still love my husband. That will never change no matter what kind or how many bad days we have. So even on those days you can't listen to him,  when all else fails, just remember to listen to your heart for him and face your issues to God in prayer, and seek out ways to apologize when needed, and find a way to forgive even when you did nothing wrong. 

1 Peter 5:6-7
"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you"

Till next time bloggers, and God bless!